ladyboy

Ton Sai Village, the heart of Phi Phi Don, is hopping. The oceanfront walkway is lined with every variety of markets and eateries and packed with sweaty tourists. Slender young local men push and pull metal handcarts stuffed with shop provisions or rubbish. No driving streets means that they must contend with distracted sightseers while they manage their laborious tasks. They plough through the crowd yelling, “bep, bep, bep!” in their best efforts at imitating a car horn. We step off the bustling street and out of the sweltry sun onto a narrow wooden patio. As we bend to remove our shoes, the glass doors glide open. Two middle-aged Thai women usher us in and bow in greeting. “Sah-wah-dee-Kaaaa”--their sing-songy lilt a pleasant heralding. We are hit with cool air-conditioned relief and the scent of lemon-grass and peppermint. The doors close behind us, shutting out the commotion and heat.

There is a reverence in the air. We are addressed with kind smiles, hushed tones and humble bows. We are presented a menu, and quickly point to the foot and hand massage. A woman directs us to oversized chairs with zebra print covers and places a small pillow of Thai silk in our laps. I sink into the softness and breathe in the soothing scent of essential oils. Technicians are dressed in soft, unicolor, pajama style scrubs. Soft cotton, V-neck, short sleeves, cropped at the ankles. Their feet are bare and there is a silk scarf with golden hues tied around their waists. My technician strides over to me and acknowledges me with the customary bow and greeting. Almost six feet tall, she stands above the other local women. She is beautifully feminine--and masculine. A trans-woman. Her hair is neatly pulled back and hangs at her neck in a low bun, accessorized with a delicate silk ribbon. Her hands are soft and well-groomed. Her lips and eyes are tastefully lined, and a brush of pink softens her cheekbones. Her name tag reads “Mrs. Chirawan”. She gently coaxes me deeper into the chair as she reclines it. She gracefully sits on a low stool placed near my feet and carefully wipes the sand from them. She then massages the minty-lemongrass balm into my skin. The massage is intentional and methodical. Her touch is nurturing and delicate, but also firm and substantial. The next hour is a blissful affair of sensory delight. Mrs. Chirawan’s experienced hands masterfully manipulate every muscle and every pressure point from the tips of my toes to my knees. The technicians occasionally chatter quietly amongst themselves, and a few patrons come and go. But I am drifting in a parallel dimension; grounded by her touch but floating in the space of Zen. She moves to my hands, arms and shoulders. Touch: the power to connect, lift, heal and transport. I send Mrs. Chirawan grateful energy, hoping that she has a sense of what a gift this is. When the hour is over, she thanks me, bows, and brings me warm tea. I thank her profusely and tip her generously.

Kathoeys is the term applied to trans-women in Thailand. It means showing both male and female traits. “Ladyboy” is the term that Westerners use. Most trans-women in Thai society refer to themselves as “phuying”. Or simply, woman. They do not consider themselves to be “boys”. Kathoey are formally recognized by the Thai culture and Buddhist religion as the “third gender”. They are acknowledged and tolerated, but they are far from accepted. Deemed second class citizens, Kathoeys are commonly believed to have committed some sin in a past life that has relegated them to this unfortunate status. They are frequently teased, bullied, assaulted and discriminated against. They are considered “lower class” and are consigned to jobs in entertainment, beauty, and sex. Thai advocates and activists are working towards equitable treatment and equal rights for gay and trans members of their community. Still, I am amazed at the number of ladyboys that are woven into the tapestry of the Thai towns and villages. An obviously integral part of the society.

Thailand, of all the places I have travelled, is the most stunning blend of masculine and feminine. The written text is flowery and bold, the architecture-imposing and ornate. The language has a melodious cadence, the style of dress for men and women is very similar, and there is an elegance and humility in the way the Thai people communicate. There is an energy of collaboration and reciprocity and little sense of dominion and tyranny. Even the landscape of Thailand is a labyrinth of phallic limestone monoliths jutting out of the water, perforated with womb like caves and sacred enclosed lagoons. This interwoven, overlapping of masculinity and femininity holds a power that feels both Whole and Holy. And I find myself enchanted and in awe of this beautifully balanced dualism. It is as if there is something in the very essence of Thailand that exposes and nourishes the vibrant fluidity of gender--in a splendid dance of interconnectedness.

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